Here's a story of a girl,
Living in the lonely world,
A hidden note, A secret crush,
A little boy who talks too much.

Well, I'm standing in the crowd,
And when you smile I check you out,
But you don't even know my name,
You're too busy playing games,

And I want you too know,
If you lose your way,
I won't let you go.

If I cut my hair,
If I change my clothes,
Will you notice me?

If I bite my lip,
If I say hello,
Will you notice me?


♥♥♥

Yesterday, I saw someone die in the ICU unit. I saw his wife's face when she was told. She seemed happy standing there, but a nurse came up (were there whispers and finger pointing to her husbands ward?) then the smile just fell away and was replaced by confusion and maybe grief.

Today, I saw a mentally unstable mom with 2 kids, her husband abuses her, and so she abuses her kids. The little boy was prolly the cutest kid I've seen. but like the doctor said "ini anak baik, di tangan kamu hancur la."

It was sad, but it made us realised that there is so much more to life than what we think and know. So much more unexpected. It makes you think alot also, what would you do if you're in the doctors position. report? would it help? you're taking the kid away from his family, no matter how screwed up they are, they're still family. But by reporting, you take him away from one bad thing and placing him in what? an orphanage. How is that helping? How is that good?

Later, we went to a klinik desa and did home visits, something you can only see in rural areas. We walked 30 km to and fro to the nearby village to visit a pregnant lady. On the way there, we were talking to the 3 nurses that was with us and everyone along the way stopped to say HI and waved and smiled. The feeling was warm fuzzy and loved. It was like everyones friendly and they truly welcome you despite not knowing you and you being different from them.

We did a full body check on the lady and palpated her stomach, YES PALPATED! (ain't it cool!) and felt the 7 month old baby move and heard its heart beat. Really was something that you don't experience often.

After that we returned to the clinic and was served COLD drinks and specially modified kueh kapet by the nurses and they really took all our questions really seriously and answered it all despite some being really senseless. Do you know that in a klinic desa, there's no doctors. Everything is handled by the community nurses, can you imagine their importance?! I guess I've gained a new level of respect towards them, they're not just the pple who cleans up after the patients but without them, life as a doctor would be shit.

I guess in these few days in rural attachment, I could certainly say, I've definitely learned alot alot and it made me grow up just a little bit more. I should start stepping out from my comfort zone and review what I think I know versus what is out there.

PS: sounds like I just wrote my whole reflective journal. damn.
PPS: Von told me to mention her, so she has been my sitting bus partner and catch me nodding off partner for the past few days.

(: hearts all who loves me and me them

"I dont care what they say, I'm in love with you
they try to pull me away but they don't know the truth"

she is the one and only Joann.
hearts everything that makes her happy.
wishes for alot of stuff.
wants the ultimate.